can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize