dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
