WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
