yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
