I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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