watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
