I need help removing her.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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