I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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