i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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