he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
