I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
