with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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