I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
