You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
