i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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