1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
