it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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