i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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