never play flip cup with pint glasses
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
