drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
