Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize