I smell stomach acid.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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