I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
