I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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