Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
