My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
