Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
