Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
