It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
