their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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