someone threw a dead crab at me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
