remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
