OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
