It's Friday. Sex?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just blew my weed a kiss
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
