my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
