I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
