I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
