Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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