i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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