Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
