Screwed.edu
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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