whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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