glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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