i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
