i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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