i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
