? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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