i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
