If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
