As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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