So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
