hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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