I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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