Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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