That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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