So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
