Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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