I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
