So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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