He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
