I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
