I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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