Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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