If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
