2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
